Get all 18 Britt Kusserow releases available on Bandcamp and save 25%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of After Or Before, Old Familiar Carols, Live at Hotel Cafe, After Or Before (Pre-Release, Single), Flatlander, Calculated Love (Pre-Release, Single), Do One Better (Pre-Release, Single), Absolutions, and 10 more.
1. |
Through Amber Waves
04:10
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I don't believe who said
'love is butterflies in your stomach,'
I hear horses in my head.
Or things with tails, and hooves,
stamping out a pathway through the amber waves,
nostrils flared, with wild eyes ablaze.
Don't forget me.
Just forgive me, and lets
go from here.
Would you let me?
Do you understand
love is all I write
and the only thing I fear.
I sing 'you' in the sense
that you are someone I have yet to meet
or maybe knew, back then.
And by 'back then' I mean
in the days before tired eyes, and cigarettes,
but after Minnesota came regrets.
Don't forget me.
Just forgive me, and lets
go from here.
Would you let me?
Do you understand
love is all I write
and the only thing I fear.
Baby, that's not true at all.
See, I also fear blunt honesty.
This song's for me.
But before I said that you
were universal in identity.
I'm too scared to call you Natalie.
Don't forget me.
Keep me next to your heart.
I'll be still and true.
Could you let me?
Do you understand,
all I write is love
because
of you.
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2. |
Single Notes
04:38
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It took awhile to figure out
what the sound was, as I drifted off.
A million voices raised to shout.
Just to hold their liberty aloft.
And as I joined them in my sleep
all the faces drifted into one.
Bow together, let us weep
at the joke our country has become.
And I know I was raised in a generation of apathy.
But I think I've got a say in who should lead.
And I know there are others who feel like I do.
It takes all the single notes to make a tune.
Everything is day to day.
All my plans they, they come and go.
And why I waste my time on them
is something I may never know.
It's easy just to raise my voice
and sing out for what I think I believe.
But until I make an effort, here,
how can I expect to lead?
And I know I was raised in a generation of apathy.
But I think I've got a say in who should lead.
And I know there are others who feel like I do.
It takes all the single notes to make a tune.
Single notes with single prayers.
Single hearts so unaware.
Single fires left to burn.
Single lessons I should learn.
Single moves with simple steps.
Single face above the rest.
And I know I was raised in a generation of apathy.
But I've got to have some say in who should lead.
And I know countless others who feel like I do.
It takes all the single notes to make a tune.
Single notes with single prayers.
Single hearts, oh, oh.
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3. |
Highway 45
03:28
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Now the sun awakes
But I can't see for morning fog.
Home I'll ride my brakes.
Autumn's here, I'm not. Autumn's here I'm not.
I stayed hours ago
in blooming woods, off 45.
By a winding road.
It's cold and I will hitchhike.
I am guilty this time.
Only not the way you'd think.
'Cause I've banished hearts so low.
And a vision just won't sink.
Of a single man, looking for a place to go.
As I looked at him and said 'you're no one that I know.'
That itself is false.
But I can't see, for mourning him.
Haven't slept at all.
I think I can outrun my sin, think I can outrun my sin.
He swallows pills and drinks.
I swallow my apology.
This no one that I know,
I didn't get that he is me. This time I am guilty.
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4. |
Sea Legs
04:21
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Oh I've longed to tread the dawn light.
I've longed to test my legs
on a sea that's rough, and sparkling,
tasting wine from golden kegs.
And I've pleaded with the High King,
in embraces yet unsung.
For this life outside of fantasy
must be more than all I've done.
Take me with you, further in,
slicing through the waves, and Eastward once again.
I'll swim toward you when you pass this shore.
'Cause I'm not scared of drowning anymore.
I have heard the terrible, deep roar.
Oh I've dreamed of only searching,
though so much gets in my way.
Where the grass is soft, undying,
there I'll pause, and there I'll make my stay.
Now I wake with aching muscles,
and my love I kiss good morn.
But with all this gifted happiness,
I can hear the harbour noise, and I am torn.
Take me with you, further in,
slicing through the waves, and Eastward once again.
I'll swim toward you when you pass this shore.
'Cause I'm not scared of drowning anymore.
I have heard the mighty, awesome roar.
Take me with you.
What we'll see!
Adventures beyond wildest of dreams.
I will row until my arms are sore,
and wind picks up to take us to that shore.
Lamb or Lion, breathe on me once more.
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5. |
Never Know
04:00
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I used to have a dream
to unite poor and rich.
This was not a part of it,
this muggy bayou that bleeds.
Hard to tell your friends from your enemies
when all are shouting out for peace,
but only some really mean it.
So tell me this,
what has been saved?
And what has died along the way?
We may never know.
I used to have a love,
all her kisses burned.
Never though I'd yearn
when I left them behind.
So now I'm moving slow
when I want to rush.
I know that isn't best for us,
so I'll keep steady stride,
but tell me this.
Does fate exist?
Or have I already missed?
We may never know.
I used to have a God
who was tall, and male,
stolen from a Bible tale,
when my heart was still strong.
But this God evolved,
now She wonders when
I'll pass her way for help again,
it can't be very long.
Just tell me this.
Who is to blame?
For all the hate preached in that name?
We may never know.
I used to have a goal:
to help where I could.
Man, I used to be so good
at being selfless, now and then.
But cynicism breeds,
and this bayou gasps.
Sucks the life right from my grasp.
Over and over again.
So tell me this.
Can I rise anew?
To be the girl I was at youth?
That I think I know.
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6. |
Saturday
02:49
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You grit your teeth against forever,
opening your eyes to contemplate these clouds.
And in your shadow I feel wise,
hanging on your words, holding me together.
Ripe rain, covering skin,
and how I never knew just how to say,
when all is pushed aside, it's been a long, long Saturday.
You can't depend upon the weather
to sort out the lies you've called so close to home.
And, squinting, you'll take no advice,
just your stubborn stance.
Oh, how you might have grown.
Ripe rain, covering skin,
and how I never knew just how to say,
when all is pushed aside, it's been a long, long Saturday.
Turns out these things I place on you,
all these qualities, quantities, quandaries,
aren't just yours to bear.
But I was unaware, that
Ripe rain, covering skin,
shows how I never found the words to say,
these attributes are mine.
It's been a long, long Saturday.
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7. |
Bridges
03:02
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I thought these tracks were deserted,
but up on the bridge there's a train stumbling by.
It's 2AM, I'm cold and distracted
by lonely train whistles to sky.
So I'll move west, to Oregon,
or south to New Orleans.
And maybe I'll stay, when I find something bigger,
'cause babe, this is bigger than me.
Don't you, don't you miss our banter,
the comfortable way we relate?
I'm sorry I hug you too long and I never
took time to know you this way.
But I'll move west, to Oregon,
or south, to New Orleans,
and maybe I'll come home, broken and disheveled,
or maybe I'll stay, and believe.
Oh, I could remain where the bridges have trains,
but I've said too much to not leave.
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8. |
Thank (Your) God
03:14
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I am no starving artist with a goatee
living on the streets,
prophesying for the pennies,
breaking down the beats.
I'm spoiled by the idea
life is just a shadow of what's real.
I have never known pain past the primal
woken up to find I am homeless in denial
and I wouldn't know evolutionary survival
if Darwin bit my heels.
Oh I'm just a washed up clue
of what might have been the next movement, or two,
under different circumstances, I might have been huge,
but thank (your) God, I'm not.
I have seen miracles I can't remember.
I have seen hate from January to December.
Those I thought were strong - so easily dismembered,
and this verse is so cliched,
so if you see me,
be sure to look away quick.
I might steal your soul or make you semi-openminded,
I think as a people we are gagged and we are blinded,
but who am I to say?
Oh I'm just a washed up clue
of what might have been the next movement, or two,
under different circumstances, I might have been huge,
but thank (your) God, I'm not.
Because I hide my anger under sadness
only God can fully feel.
And I am sad because I've got it easy.
Life's a steal for me.
And though I'm told the world will only disappear,
I'd like to change it while I'm here,
and I am met with only fear, and disbelief.
I am no epic poet with an ego.
I post emo lyrics like an instant message credo.
I was raised on PBS, so baby, why don't we go
to the Land of Make Believe.
Round these parts I'm no threat to faith, or reason,
I am just a mammal with a certain knack for breathin'
and committing random acts of sodomitic treason
(knock your daughters off their feet)
Oh I'm just a washed up clue
of what might have been the next movement, or two,
under different circumstances, I might have been huge,
but thank (your) God, I'm not.
Because I'd hate to cause the moral rupture
of a country that is punctured by a devil in disguise.
So you're right - blame the problems of this nation
on my own recruiting station.
Kill me fast and everything will be alright.
I don't mean to sound sarcastic, angry, or crass,
but I'm getting used to dead last.
And the weight of my own words.
Let's forget I said a thing, and just ignore this.
Faith in earthly law is pure bliss.
So they say, and so tonight
we can't see the sky for all the lights.
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9. |
Follow Through
03:28
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Call me the bee charmer from Indiana,
just an idea running through my dreams.
Running south to Louisiana,
when you run away, you run toward something else, it seems.
Barefoot in the bayou, I'll turn twenty-one
and buy you anything you please.
Maybe I'll follow through.
Maybe I'll follow through this time.
Maybe I'll follow.
I'm finding out my chains are only
just as strong as I let them be.
And I make lots of plans, that fall
like water through my hands before I leave.
But somehow this is different,
after twenty years I'm falling to my knees.
Maybe I'll follow through.
Maybe I'll follow through this time.
Maybe I'll follow.
Don't look back, we're not going there.
Why do I have to say, 'you could come with me'?
No one has to know. No one has to know.
Call you the one who almost got away,
the one I stung when I turned around.
I'm sorry it took a faceful of dirt
for me to see my feet had left the ground.
But no matter what people say,
you know they'll all be wondering what we've found.
So maybe we'll follow through.
Baby, let's follow through this time.
God knows we'll follow.
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10. |
Not Tonight
03:26
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I'm the awkward Cinderella,
or maybe Ugly Duckling.
In a month I'll be done waiting,
off finding out what luck brings.
On a coast, where I can swallow
everything I'm thinking about life.
I won't hold a grudge, no, not tonight.
All I wanted was ten minutes
to say goodbye, the right way.
Never cared for silent moments,
but I'm a pro, you might say.
I'll find ways in this anger
to ignore my vast pride, and make it right.
I won't think of her, no, not tonight.
Lately, I can't remember
the face she made when she said that she loved me.
Time fades that image so quietly.
I'm alone.
Now my eyes are frantic, searching,
for something as reminder
of a face supremely jaded,
except when she's beside her
self and soul forever shadowed.
But I refuse to linger, out of light.
I won't stand for dark.
I won't stand for dark.
I won't stand for dark, no, not tonight.
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11. |
Sleep Well
03:04
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Write the words first.
Random thoughts that I want to set to music.
My random thoughts have become too blunt to wax poetic.
I'm not frantic, for once.
Once I told you,
well, I told you everything.
I opened my mouth and said too much
but I thought I'd give you words as love.
Love is only a hunch.
Please sleep well tonight.
Here's the part where
drums and bass kick in my simplistic song,
as I realise my shoes are untied,
when's the last time I looked down?
I'll be around if you look.
Once you told me,
well, you told me just enough
to keep me hanging, but have no fear.
I'm distraught, but it feels nice to be an open book.
I'll be around if you
Look at me now.
Singing for all these people.
Telling them I'm no steeple.
This is my spotlight.
I'll sleep well tonight.
For a fade-out,
I think I'll avoid a bridge.
Let's keep this short, and completely pointless.
There's just no way to compromise.
Wise are the wordless, and right.
Once you loved me.
Once I made a cruel mistake.
God only knows that I'm glad for the outcome.
It shows me we're not who I thought we were.
You get the last word, so
Write me a letter. Send it to Wilderness Road.
To my temptation, I'll go. Living on more than bread alone.
My sins are my strongpoints when I remember I'm flawed.
Long is the road, and outlawed, that leads up to light.
So I'll sleep quietly.
Yes, I'll sleep so silently,
and I'll sleep well tonight.
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12. |
Apartment 801
03:05
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The ceiling has its stains,
and the couch has seen a lively past.
Watching, like it always has.
Moved from place to place.
There's nothing here to eat
but Airborne, and Emergen-C,
I use rabbit ears on my TV
for PBS, and NBC.
But I set things up
the way I thought that you might like it.
All my furniture's meticulously placed.
I can't control my thermostat,
too hot or cold (and who needs that)
but I think we'll be just warm enough
when you come to stay.
I'm confused by love.
Wondrous in the morning light,
when you search me, with wide-open eyes.
You'll be here in a week.
But sometimes I regress,
and I think I'm damned, I'm scared you'll leave
when you find out the rest of me
on VH1, or MTV.
See, I am still so reckless.
Like the time I broke that necklace
that she gave me in a letter
just before she went to Greece.
Still so many pictures.
Every now and then I miss her.
But maybe that's the consequence
of dreaming for the seas.
The oven's way too small.
But that's okay, 'cause I don't bake.
There's nothing to eat, anyway.
And nothing on the walls.
You'll be here in a week.
And I'll pick you up, and drive you home.
I love it when we're almost home
and you're dancing, riding next to me.
Alas, alas, there's nothing here
until you're here beside me,
and I won't fear the noises of my kitchen in the night.
I hope you like my traffic cone
I stole from that convenience store.
I hope you like the parts of me I find so hard to fight.
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13. |
Once You Said
04:35
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Don't you ever want to run away?
Of course I do. Of course I do.
Don't you ever want to try to stay?
I hope you do. I hope you do.
I'd buy you a ticket anywhere,
if I could go. If I could go.
Leave you when our plane touched down.
I hope you know. Goodbye, nice knowing you.
My words can't fix this.
You don't love me. Say you love me.
Where is your Phoenix?
Scan the ashes. What surpasses this?
Is it brave to brave the wilderness?
I close my eyes. I smell that pine.
Or to shake the hand of common sense?
I've so much time. Do I have time?
What's so wrong with being lost?
Nothing, I guess. Nothing, I guess.
Once you said you built the pyramids.
So stop and rest. Stay here, and rest, with me.
Babe, there's one hitch only.
Do I love you? Yes, I love you.
But you and I both know me.
If you don't love me, I don't want you to.
Dreaming of you today,
I thought you touched me. Felt you touch me.
But when I jerked awake
you were further than you've ever been.
Run fast. Run true, my friend.
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Britt Kusserow Los Angeles, California
Britt Kusserow is a queer singer/songwriter who has lived in too many places. Her latest album, “After Or Before,” is a collection of new songs as well as older songs, reimagined. Britt's lyrics frequently explore existential and spiritual themes, and they are influenced by artists like The Indigo Girls, The Weepies, and Tracy Chapman. ... more
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